Mwahahaha

Mysterious lights in ostensibly abandoned laboratories during federal holidays.
The disappearance of the crown prince’s zeppelin convoy in a remote alpine region.
A 16% month-on-month increase in the wholesale price of chicken breasts.

The seemingly unrelated events you have all recently witnessed have in fact been the disparate strands of a far-reaching web of intrigue which reached its culmination today when, in an otherwise routine lab meeting, I, Baron von Davidstein, seized control of the Jacksonian Empire’s powerful Social Coordination Committee.

Already my covert surveillance apparatus is swinging into action by requesting that each of you send me your birthday information. Or at least a day when you want your birthday observed.

The reign of terror begins.

JSC